How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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