That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize