I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
