Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
