i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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