Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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