Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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