It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
