You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
