Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
