I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
