Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Houston, we have a blender
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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