if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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