I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
