she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
