Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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