hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
