I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
