I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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