shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You were trust falling into bushes
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
