she woke up with a sticky ear
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry my hands just texted you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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