I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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