This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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