she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
