I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
