New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it because I queefed?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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