Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
