the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize