Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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