just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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