Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
