Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize