he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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