Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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