omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
only you would photoshop your dick
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
