Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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