I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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