1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
