so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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