I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
