why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
