So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
