I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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