If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
