I'm sorry my penis didn't work
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
