Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I CAN MOONWALK!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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