Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
