You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
please don't ironically join a cult
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