why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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