Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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