I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
