i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
