haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
