Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
