GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
