I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
