I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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