Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
