Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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