all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize