your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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