Duck Duck Cougar?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
